Photo by Walter Gadea on Unsplash
I Long for Safety
Safety is what I long for.
The Little Girl
Imagine this. A little girl who is seven years old craves a mother’s love more than anything, yet the love she seeks is nowhere to be found. She wants to be held in her mother’s arms, because that is the only safe place she knows in the world, at least in her ideal world. This little girl dreams of being loved in the way that she deserves. She wants more than anything to know a mother’s love, but she goes without this love for her nineteen years of life.
Our Story
The unfortunate reality that I am living with is that this little girl is me. As a daughter of a narcissistic mother, I have never experienced the safe love that a mother provides her children. Instead, I have experienced ridicule, pain and grief as a result of my mother’s “love.” Longing for safety has been a common desire of mine. The safety I seek lives through a mother’s love, so where does this leave me and the other children that grow up motherless?
We Need Safety
As much as I hate to say it, we stay broken. We try to move on, but it does not relieve the immense pain we feel. Instead, we get by from day to day by surviving. We are not alive. In fact, we are barely making it by. I wish I could provide a more happy and hopeful version of our truth, but this is all I have.
Choose to Mother the Motherless
I need to find a way to make the pain go away. I crave the happy ending I have always longed for, but so far there seems to be no answer. People keep telling me that I need to accept my past and move on, but doing so only leaves me broken. I cannot live with the fact that I will never have a mother who provides me with safety, love and comfort. No child should have to go through life without experiencing a mother’s love. We need to do something before it is too late.
Help Heal the Broken
You might be wondering what you can do, since this is no easy “task.” Start by listening. When you hear someone’s needs and struggles, consider yourself valued. Opening up about personal battles is far from easy, so know that those who do confide in you trust and feel safe with you. Validate them by not only listening, but also hearing their needs. Hear their pain and see their value. You can save a life that way. Be that someone.
