Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
Childhood trauma is formed in many ways; from using demeaning language to physical abuse. Studies have shown that children exposed to negative child-rearing practices tend to be anti-social, aggressive, and commit violent crimes later in life. Some may say that Millennials are the “Snowflake” generation because they refuse to yell at and spank their children. This is because they know all too well the potential anxieties that can follow children into adulthood.
Hostile parenting can increase a child’s sensitivity to anxiety when met with criticism or aggression. Parenting behavior accounted for 2-5 percent of the variance in child Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In 2015, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) stated that more than two-thirds of children have reported experiencing one traumatic event before the age of 16. These experiences range from; psychological abuse, physical abuse, witnessing domestic violence, and parental neglect. In 2013, the national average in the U.S. for child abuse and neglect victims was 679,000. From this; 60.8 percent were victims of neglect, 10.7 percent were physically abused, and 7 percent were sexually abused. More than 15 percent suffered from two or more maltreatment types.
So please hear me when I say; if you’re an adult who is suffering from childhood trauma, you are not alone. Don’t believe when someone says, “you’re too sensitive,” or “that was years ago, get over it.” When you experience a form of childhood trauma, you don’t just “get over it.” While the years go by, it takes work to get to the state of mentality you want to be in. As someone who suffers from my own childhood trauma, I can tell you that there are days where that’s all I can think about. It wasn’t until I went to therapy at 20 years old when my eyes were finally opened to the emotions that I was feeling every single day. Emotions that affected me tremendously, and I didn’t know why until I spoke to and confided in my therapist.
My Advice to You
- Set boundaries: This is the most important advice I can give anyone. Once you set boundaries with the ones that trigger your childhood trauma, you will be able to think much more clearly. Setting goals, achieving them, having a social life; I was able to do this once I had set boundaries with my family.
- Always acknowledge your feelings. Don’t treat them as if they are insignificant and allow them to burrow into an emotional cave. If that cave collapses, you won’t know how to deal with all those emotions later on.
- If you can afford or have healthcare coverage, I would advise going to therapy. Do your research and try to find a therapist that you most connect with. If you cannot afford therapy(or are just not ready for it), don’t worry, there are other options. These include; meditation, picking up a hobby that relaxes you(mine is yoga), or finding a friend that you can confide in.
Conclusion
Dealing with childhood trauma is difficult, it’s something that will always be with us – but it’s something that we can all conquer together. We will not allow our past to determine our future. I’m proud to be a “Snowflake,” because rather than being aggressive and condescending towards others, I know the importance of being understanding and nurturing. As we continue to take mental health more seriously by conducting research and listening to the stories of those who have suffered, we will one day see the numbers of adults affected by childhood trauma go down.
