Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
Can Bullying Still Happen While Socially Distanced?
During the academic year, one of the biggest problems educators face is mitigating bullying in schools. For this reason, October is dedicated to bullying prevention. However, with classes moved to an online format, we are learning what bullying looks like during COVID-19. What does it mean for our children to be struggling with both cyberbullying and COVID-19?
Many students expressed relief when school moved online. Because of the online format, many students have been able to escape their bullies and focus on their school work. Students are able to avoid physical bullying, verbal bullying, and social bullying in their online classrooms. One cannot be punched, vocally teased, or ostracized, by other students in a non-physical setting where the teacher is almost always present. However, based on the different categories of bullying described by the National Centre Against Bullying, there is still one form left: cyberbullying.
Children have always bullied one another, so it would be unexpected to think that they would stop simply because the methodology would have to change. Cyberbullying has been around for a while now, and it is understandable how it would be exasperated during a time where online communication is one of the only ways to stay connected with one’s community.
What Bullying Looks Like During COVID-19
Cyberbullying is defined as willful and repeated harm done to another through electronic devices. It can be hard to see cyberbullying as an adult because it often happens outside spaces that parents and teachers are in. Of the middle schoolers and high schoolers, I talked to, most reported cyberbullying happening over social-media. The most common platforms mentioned were Snapchat, TikTok, and Instagram (some through “finsta” accounts, or more exclusively followed Instagram accounts).
It is also important to note that the combination of cyberbullying and COVID-19 has had a significant impact on Asian-American and Pacific Islander students. Due to heightened racism in the country, many Asian-American students have been accused of and avoided for having the “Chinese virus” or “Kung flu.”
Who Becomes a Bully?
Children become bullies when they are overwhelmed with pent-up emotions that they try to appease through aggression or maintaining social rank by putting others down. Some have hypothesized that bullying will go down because bullies will experience less social pressures from classmates. However, I would argue that cyberbullying could increase for those who live in challenging households or whose households have become challenging because of the coronavirus. Children could also become bullies if they do not know how to properly express their frustrations, grief, and fear concerning the pandemic.
If you are concerned that your child or student might be a bully, here are some warning signs to look for. You may have a reason for concern if they…
- Do not talk to you about their online activity and they avoid conversations about their activity. (Online communication and entertainment are a big part of their lives and should naturally come up)
- Have multiple social media accounts on a platform.
- Hide their devices from you.
- Act out at home or school.
- Are preoccupied with social status.
- Withdraw from family.
- Are conceited about their technical abilities and the opinions of their classmates.
With all of that said, as a parent or adult, how do you prevent cyberbullying, notice the warning signs, and respond to instances of cyberbullying? Here are some recommendations from Reputation Defender:
Cyberbullying Prevention
In order to protect your child from cyberbullying and prevent them from being a bully, here are some steps that parents can take:
1. “Lurk” on Social Media
“Lurking” refers to following your child on social media without being an active commenter or photo-liker. Children are likely to create a private account if they are conscious of your active presence online. But the awareness that you could see their posts can help them pause about what they say and post online.
2. Have Open Conversations About Cyberbullying
Normalize the conversation so that they can come to you if they are being bullied or witness bullying. Additionally, identifying what cyberbullying looks like can help children be self-aware of times they may be bullying others.
3. Teach Your Children About Cybersecurity
Create strong passwords and change them regularly. Enforce keeping passwords within the family. Remind them to be cautious about sharing their location and other personal information. Additionally, remind your children not to post or share photos that they would be embarrassed if they were shared widely.
4. Limit Screen Time at Night
Adults do not always make their best decisions at night, and neither do children. Not only will limiting screen time help with their sleep, but it will also reduce opportunities to make regrettable decisions. They will be less likely to hurt others or share private photos or information at a time that feels secretive and when their judgment is impaired by fatigue.
5. Build In-Person Relationship
Reserve special time each week for family-time to build trust and communication between you and your child. Don’t be afraid to speak honestly about tough conversations so that your children can also feel free to speak honestly about their struggles with you.
Warning Signs
If you are worried your child or student is being cyberbullied, here are some warning signs to look for. If your child is being cyberbullied, they might…
- Look nervous when using their devices.
- Suddenly stop spending time on a device.
- Have their mood declines after being on their devices.
- Prefer to spend time with family over their friends.
- Avoid talking about their online activity
- Show other signs of depression, self-harm, or thoughts of suicide.
Response to Cyberbullying
If bullying does occur, here are the steps that you and your child should take together:
1. Do Not Engage
Encourage your child to step away and disengage from the situation. Responding only gives the bully more to work with and causes more pain. Feel free to block accounts and phone numbers. If your child is nervous about what is happening behind the scenes, ask another trusted friend or adult to monitor the bully’s account for activity.
2. Screenshot
Take screenshots of photos, text messages, and other evidence when approaching principals and legal measures if necessary. Saving links of URLs can also be helpful.
3. Report the Cyberbullying
If it happened on a social media platform, report it to the platform so that those posts can be taken down. Additionally, reporting it to the school, police, or other adults can help you move forward in a way that is productive for all parties involved.
4. Affirm Your Child
Listen to your child’s complaints and do not dismiss or placate their emotions. Assure them that it is not their fault and that they are valuable and loved. Offer your help in whatever way they need, and create a welcoming space to talk about their issues.
