Photo by Haley Powers on Unsplash
Since the beginning of this COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve been working on finding my mental strength. It has felt like my world has halted. I’ve been in the house with people that I struggle to really like (I love my family but they can irk my soul), with an abundance of homework, and that’s it. Two things I wouldn’t think of as bad, but yeah they’re not that good. I wake up in bed. I eat in bed. I procrastinate my homework by watching Netflix in bed. I do homework in bed. I eat again in bed. I go to sleep in [my] bed. Occasionally, I sneak in something “productive,” but overall I’ve been in my bed.
Reality Check
My counselor made me realize the other day while I was talking to her (in my bed), that despite my previous opinions, I’m not just sitting in bed. I’m doing something big. I’m making history for myself. I’m doing something I wouldn’t have been able to do last year. I’m adapting to my surroundings. If I would’ve been trapped in this house last year, there’s a good chance that I would’ve slipped into depression. Even though things may seem bleak for me right now during COVID-19, and they may seem bleak for you right now, pay attention to the things that you’ve been able to accomplish. I woke up and I didn’t sleep for 15 hours today. I ate a real meal. Yes, I procrastinated on my work. I had a good time by myself watching Naruto for the first time. Before all of this started, I dreaded spending time alone.
Finding Mental Strength
You might see me cackling at my own jokes in the next few weeks and look at me like I’m crazy, but I don’t care. Why? Because there was a time where I couldn’t even do that and since then, I’ve learned that I’m a pretty cool person. And outside of my fun “me time,” I am getting things done. It may not be as much as before. It may not be exactly the amount that I may be striving for, but it’s enough. I know I keep writing blogs about doing my best to survive COVID-19 and that’s simply because it’s heavy on my mind.
But even in the midst of those darker thoughts, I am still simply grateful to be here. To still be smiling. To be writing this blog on the day that it’s due, because not only could my situation be worse, as we often hear, but I could be worse. I’m grateful for my finding my mental strength during COVID-19 and I want to encourage you all to examine your strength too. Until my next pandemic rant.
