Photo by Laura Fuhrman on Unsplash
Inhaling the scents of newly cut grass, mint, and mulch during my walk opens the creative and relaxed parts of my brain—because the natural world around me is open itself. The green and blue ecotherapy session, as Katie Martinez discusses in her article, “Time with Nature Benefits our Mental Health,” gives me a burst of energy. A new pep of self-confidence bounces in my step, as though anything is possible.
Inhaling spring is reminiscent of my past graduations. Spring should mean to breathe in freedom. But nearly 400 days into the pandemic, we’re still limited with breathing through masks and illnesses. It’s one of the many considerations we have for our mental health during this unprecedented year.
Our Instinct for Freedom
My afternoon walks are a tease of what should be happening if the social world were fully open this spring: shopping with friends and family; small pauses to visit with neighbors; and visiting the shops and restaurants along the arm of Cape Cod.
But even with vaccines being rolled out, the slow pace and new virus variants don’t make the act of traveling or visiting people any more comfortable for me. Going against our primal instincts of leaving our walls in search of freedom is one of the most challenging things we can do. Most of us are itching to throw away the signs of caution (in this case, literal) in order to renew sociability.
The problem is that while many of us are being considerate and patient during the whole process, it’s important to understand that there are still many individuals tapping into these primal instincts at the cost of the physical and mental health of their families.
Pandemic Behaviors Affect Families
Between checking news feeds online and watching our local news for virus updates, there comes a point when ignoring some of the outlets becomes essential in order to mentally reset and reduce our anxiety. What is not essential, however, is to ignore the news altogether, skip school or work, and fly from one coast to the other to sit by a pool.
This specific example is taken from the actions of a friend I have. The feeling my friend, Angie, has of being invincible enough to travel in haste—along with her diagnosed depression and anxiety—makes her less aware of the effects her actions have on her unvaccinated mother, younger sister, and high-risk aunt. Her family reads her actions as: “I don’t care about what happens to my body or future;” “I don’t care what could happen to the bodies of my family;” and “I don’t care about the example I’ve set upon my 6-year-old sister.”
Family Mental Health Concerns
Angie’s experience reinforces the fact that a parent or guardian is not the only person in a family who has the power to affect the mental health of their loved ones. Her spontaneous action of traveling makes them feel anxiety, depression, abandonment and emotional neglect. The irony is, as Angie taps into the primal instinct, her family can no longer tap into their primal instinct to be there for her by hugging and showing affection due to the possible threat of disease. The inability to offer affection leads to further isolation for my friend who already battles mental illnesses.
Personal Consideration Ripples Outward
I understand the need to flee and that some people are in denial of the severity of what has been happening. But I’m hesitant to resume our friendship knowing that Angie goes the distance (literally and figuratively) to put her own body and mental health—and the body and mental health of her family members—in harm’s way. This unprecedented year mirrors what we find in the face of death and grief: We see the raw truths of people through sickness and through health.
Though I feel hesitant about my friend, I still care for her. I hope that she and her family address the mental health issues which stemmed from her impulsive need to leave—and triggered her need to leave in the first place.
The Mirror Doesn’t Lie
While this is an unprecedented time, we need to remember that consideration and love should be anything but unprecedented. If these 400 days have taught us anything, it’s to be more honest with our family about our feelings and our own well-being.
When we stop being honest and stop asking for help, we flee and put everyone’s health—including our own—in jeopardy. This is when we need to look in the mirror after the grief and face what has been in front of us, because mental and emotional issues travel with and without us.
Here’s to our future family photo album where we’ll find celebratory snapshots from overcoming obstacles!
Community Series – Mental Health Book Club: What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey
