Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
Have you ever heard someone joke about something they had no first-hand experience with? Laughing and clowning about lives that they have never lived. Have you ever made that kind of joke yourself? We all know those jokes and we all know deep down that these jokes are harmful, but when people call them out for what they are, they often get labeled as snowflakes and fairies. Calling out people for making offensive remarks isn’t being soft, it’s being considerate to your fellow man.
According to the National Alliance of Mental Health, [death by] suicide is the second leading cause of death of youth ages 15-24 and the tenth leading cause of death for all Americans. Although there are stats out there like this one, we still have ‘joking’ statements such as ‘Go kill yourself’ and ‘I’m going to kill myself’. Statements like these are disrespectful to the tens of thousands of real humans who lose their lives due to death by suicide every single year. When people joke about one killing themselves, they often joke without realizing the fact that many [lost their life to suicide] — this act because they feel like it’s a last resort, like they are alone and have no one to truly understand their pain. Joking about understanding someone’s pain, but not really putting in any effort, is an asshole move. If you can empathize and place yourself into a person’s shoes then do that. If you can’t then sympathize, realize that they are experiencing a difficult situation that you cannot understand. No one can relate to every condition, that’s what makes the human experience unique.
Making statements like this not only reveals the person as an unempathetic human being but also harms the people they are imitating. According to NAMI, the average delay between the onset of symptoms and intervention is 8-10 years. It’s easy to see how the delay of symptoms can be related to those joking statements. When everyone is claiming they will kill themselves, it can be difficult to differentiate between the real and the fake. Even when it can be done, it may be done too late. Imagine living a reality that would force someone to die by suicide for 8-10 years. It’s heartbreaking. [Death by] suicide isn’t a random act that one randomly wakes up and decides to complete. It’s the last resort decision created by those who are dealing with extreme pain whether that be from mental illness or from extenuating circumstances. Making these statements with the assumption that somehow suicide is ‘cool’ is another slap into the face of the victims. Depression isn’t cool. Anxiety isn’t cool. Being bipolar isn’t cool. Just in the way that being an oppressed minority isn’t cool. These aren’t jokes; these are real experiences felt by real people and should be discussed as such.
