Photo by Drew Harbour on Unsplash
The Perfect Life
We all want to achieve and succeed. But does our way of thinking and feeling change when we finally get to the top of where we’ve dreamed of being? Gavin Larkin, a native Australian, had a successful marketing career, three children, and a wife. While he was described as an “alpha male” and had every reason to be content with his life, he felt empty. This fear mirrored the fear his own father had prior to taking his life.
A Call to Action
Larkin responded to his emotions by making personal changes that set the foundation for what is nationally known as the R U OK? organization. One of his first steps was taking a self-improvement communications course. The course asked individuals to work on a project that allowed them to be inspired and extend themselves toward others.
The project of choice was focused on suicide prevention. Out of fear that the words “suicide prevention” would deter people, the project evolved into an Australian non-profit suicide prevention organization: R U OK?
Larkin’s successful marketing career helped the campaign to gain leverage. Other businesses and celebrities such as Hugh Jackman and athletes such as NRL star Wendell Sailor were advocates. The official R U OK? Day launched in 2009 and is annually recognized on September 9th. The day reminds people to pause and check-in with others who may be struggling. The main message is to stop a minor problem from turning into a major problem. We can actually check in any day of the year.
Steps That Could Potentially Change a Life
According to the official R U OK? website, there are four steps one can take when reaching out to someone who may be suffering:
- Ask R U OK?
- Listen
- Encourage action
- Check-in
The power behind these simple steps, according to Larkin and his team, is that “a conversation could change a life.” Though R U OK? is based in Australia, healthcare workers in the US have adopted this ALEC acronym.
Asking “R U OK?” in a Pandemic
As we all struggle from time to time, we can all be inspired to stay as well as can be. In paying attention to his mental health, Larkin found a passion and calling that has continued making a difference in people’s lives. His story and inspiration have even reached Mass General Brigham Hospital in Boston. There, the Employee Assistant Program encourages workers to reach out to one another and ask “R U OK?” This question not only supports the healthcare workers on the floor with Covid patients but also supports those current remote workers. Isolation has grown to be more palpable than before.
“R U OK?” and Emotional Intelligence
Prior to the pandemic, a toolkit was introduced in 2018 to Australian children from 6 to 12 years old. This toolkit shows kids how to keep an eye on their peers and know when something may not be okay. The lesson plans teach students how to read others and strengthen their EQ, or emotional intelligence.
Having high EQ can lead to a successful life because one’s self-awareness and self-management can lead to being aware of how others are doing. This enables us to build relationships and strong community ties. As with the ALEC steps, there is power in observing and connecting.
The Echo of One’s Legacy
Unfortunately, Larkin was diagnosed with bone cancer shortly after the inception of R U OK? Through stem cell and bone marrow transplants, he still attended R U OK? Day and kept promoting the mental health organization. He was even doing phone interviews for the campaign up until his last week of life.
We can learn a powerful lesson from the story behind R U OK?: Larkin went from wanting to give up on life to fighting to save lives through the power of community. His belief that having a conversation could change a life has echoed and will continue echoing as long as we share in that belief — and keep faith in ourselves.
If you need support and need to talk, please reach out to our Helpline to talk to a Peer Support Facilitator, we are here to help. If you are thinking of suicide, call 911. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or text TALK to 741741.
Resources Used:
-
Goleman, Daniel. “Harvard Researcher Says the Most Emotionally Intelligent People Have These 12 Traits. Which do you have?” 06/09/2020. https://www.cnbc.com/2020/06/09/harvard-psychology-researcher-biggest-traits-of-emotional-intelligence-do-you-have-them.html
-
Lilly, Allison., St. Thomas, Jennifer. “Supporting Employees Through Covid-19.” June 2021. Webinar from NEHRA. https://www.nehra.com/
-
“R U OK?” A Conversation could change a life.https://www.ruok.org.au/
