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Love Surrounds You Amid Fear
Carry on for those you love, even when it is hard, even when you are terrified.
Carry On For Love
Soon I will be 20 years old. For many, this is a time of joy and excitement. I, however, fear 20. I dreaded 18 and now I am dreading 20, because I did not believe I would make it to 20. I never was a kid and now I need to be a kid more than ever. As I age, I fear no one will ever love me like a child is loved and this scares me.
Despite Being Afraid, I Carry On
Am I terrified? Yes. Do I know if I will ever find the love I seek? No. But must I carry on anyway? Yes.
I Carry on for The Ones I Love
I carry on for my emotional support animal, Dakota, who has truly saved me.
I carry on for the person who has forever changed my life by helping me find Dakota and who has believed in me from the beginning.
I carry on for my friends and professors, as they have become my family while I learn to define safe and healthy love slowly and surely.
I carry on for God, as I know that He knows what is best for me even when I do not.
I carry on for you, as without our communication through these pieces, I would not be the writer that I am nor the person who I have become through the gift of writing.
And finally, I carry on for the kids who will find a home in me, just as I have always longed to find a home in a mother. Despite not yet having found my home, I can guarantee that other kids going through similar battles will find a home in me as I work towards becoming a foster parent after college graduation.
It is for these reasons I must carry on, even when the battle is immense. I will not give in and neither should you. This world really does need you, even when you struggle to see it. You are someone’s home. If you struggle to find a reason to live, the reason to carry on is love.
Community Series – Mental Health Book Club: What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey
