Photo by Bruce Mars on Unsplash
Have you ever read something that was speaking exactly to you? Like, you’re reading it and suddenly you’re being reprimanded and you’re like oh crap? A few days ago, while scrolling on Instagram, I was called out for constantly complaining I don’t have enough friends, and also not knowing what a friend is. How I’m gon’ want something and I don’t even know what I want? It all started while I was mindlessly clicking on Instagram stories. A few minutes or hours—I don’t know time anymore—in, I saw a screenshot of a text message that read “a friend is someone who contributes positively to your life and provides you support”. But here’s where it called me out: It emphasized its previous statement by saying just about anyone can watch TV with you and eat snacks. I was like ooh, that’s true, but honestly, that’s all I’ve been looking for in the past.
And don’t get me wrong, I want to personally thank all of my friends who did sit with me and watch mindless TV that fills the void, and who ate with me so I didn’t feel conscious eating alone. While this isn’t the entirety of our friendship, I appreciate a friend who can do these mundane things with me. Especially in a time like this, it is exactly those mundane things that I am missing the most. However, I do admit that friends who can call you out on your BS are also important. All friends should be able to call you out when you’re doing wrong and support you and your aspirations when you’re doing right, pushing you to be a better person.
In previous blogs, I have mentioned that food is my happy place; therefore, when looking for friends, I look for people who keep me in that happy place. You don’t like to go out and waste money on expensive food? Sorry, you’re not my type. But what I really need is someone who can help me become a better person. Someone who will actually make a contribution to my life rather than simply existing to exist.
It’s at this time that I am the most alone than I have been in a long time and in my alone time I am doing some reflection. And I personally think that’s one of the best things someone can do during this pandemic. It can be hard to gather the motivation to physically do something, but many of us do have all the time in the world to just lay on our couches and think. What do you really want/need in a friend? In a lover? In a job?
