Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash
Understanding our personal style of communication can provide helpful insights not only into how we can better share our feelings and ideas with others but also how we can set ourselves up for deeper insight. When it comes to how we develop our thoughts, most people fall into one of two categories: think-to-talk or talk-to-think. Think-to-talk types spend time collecting and assessing their thoughts and express them once condensed, while talk-to-think types use the process of communicating their thoughts to work through them in real-time. So for example, if you find yourself taking your time and preparing your thoughts before you speak, you likely fall into the think-to-talk category. If you find yourself speaking and realizing the truth in your words as you say them without consciously having those thoughts before, you are likely a talk-to-think type.
For think-to-talkers, something to be cognizant of is building the proper space to develop thoughts. Situations where others are quickly giving their input, whether, in a conversation with loved ones, a work project meeting, or anywhere else, often do not provide a structure where participants can take time to collect their thoughts before speaking. Simply asking for a moment to think about something can give enough breathing room to work through ideas and allow for more contribution. Writing down thoughts during meetings or when alone can also be helpful. This ensures that thoughts that are not shared do not get lost and can be saved for a moment when there is more time for processing.
Talk-to-thinkers, on the other hand, should be careful to create space to reflect. This method of thinking out loud allows many ideas to be expressed and worked through quickly, but these thoughts may not get their due if they are quickly tossed into a conversation and then left behind. Speaking helps to consolidate the thoughts initially, and making time to reflect on them later can provide new insights. Journaling is a great tool for talk-to-think types as it not only provides a similar outlet to speaking where writing acts as a talk-to-think opportunity but also invites reflection by reading through and processing the thoughts after getting them on paper.
Understanding the people in our lives’ communication styles is key to supporting them in developing their deepest and most insightful ideas. A think-to-talk friend (or coworker, partner, etc.) who takes a while to answer needs respectful space in the conversation to contribute. Letting them know that this space exists for them and that you can come back to topics at a later time lets them know that they will have the chance to share. The talk-to-think people in our lives need the understanding that they are throwing thoughts out there as they come. They deserve room to speak without insistence that their words be perfectly polished and also benefit from good listeners whose responses help solidify their thoughts. Looking to understand the way others in our lives, as well as ourselves, communicate is a compassion act that leads to better understanding, idea sharing, and insight.
