Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash
Two Childhood Stories
The New York Times recently covered a story about 11-year-old Marie. The young daughter of a nurse called a suicide prevention hotline while listening to music on a walk. Prior to this, her friendships and loneliness through the pandemic worried her. The hotline and her mother were there for her as soon as she reached out for them. Before reaching out, however, Marie did intend on hurting herself with scissors but was unsure of how to use the item as a weapon for self-harm.
Marie was not the only child with suicidal thoughts this past year. Back in April, 11-year-old Lu and her mom made an urgent visit to the hospital after Lu’s constant battle with isolation, hormones, and genetics that led to a suicide note. It was only when her mother monitored Lu’s tablet, that she found what would have been Lu’s last words.
Because Lu’s mother was present for and aware of what was in front of her daughter’s life, she ended up saving a life.
Making Sense of What Shouldn’t Be
The suicide attempts of Marie and Lu tell us two things: the first is that with many young children, it hasn’t been the fear of Covid-19 that’s brought them to their local hospital but the fear of living; and the second is that we need to stop underestimating the minds of children. They understand what is right and wrong with the world just as much as we do. And they feel it just as much as we do, if not more.
Childhood suicide. I wasn’t even aware of these two words going together. They shouldn’t. When I was 11, I was bike riding and playing basketball. No, there was no pandemic, but yes I got lonely and insecure just in time for the rise of AOL and hints of social media. I knew I didn’t fit in during elementary and middle school because of a neonatal stroke I had. I didn’t know the words “body image” but I hid my body, knowing I was hiding the true way I looked.
We, as children, absolutely get lonely and sad about ourselves. We are each so different, as I show with my own story. It makes sense to be lonely as we grow up and try to figure ourselves out. But feeling one bad thing should not coincide with childhood suicide. A feeling and a thought should not be so permanent.
The Alarming Statistics on Childhood Suicide
Childhood suicide has been increasing every year. According to the CDC, emergency room visits for potential suicide attempts for children between 12 and 17 increased over 20% from the summer of 2019 to the summer of 2020. Upon entering 2021, the number increased by 39% this past winter. Between February and March, the visits for adolescent girls in particular rose to 50% from 2019.
In addition to childhood suicide being more common with girls, the statistics of black children under 13 committing suicide has increased over the decade. In minority communities where health insurance and behavioral therapy are not easily accessible, suicide rates are also seen to be higher.
The Care of Young Children
Lu and her mom spent a full day in the ER waiting for a bed. Eventually, they were transferred to a behavioral health hospital. The New York Times went on to say that the younger the child is who takes a seat in the ER, the longer they wait for a bed.
How young are we talking? 8-year-old Kate and her parents waited in the hospital for 12 hours only for the staff to tell them that Kate would be safe at home. One problem is, that unless a child is a threat, a bed will not be open. This is past the point of preventative care, so the child and family are physically stuck in the middle of the situation. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends mental health screenings to children 12 and up. The under-12 group was considered low-risk but is no longer low-risk.
A school counselor in Missouri has had to use the school’s suicide protocol less than a handful of times in 2016. Currently, one student a month comes forward with the thought of suicide in mind. The students range from Pre-K to 5th grade. They’ll ask a number of questions about death that are nearly college level questions such as: “What happens when you die?”
This only validates how aware a child’s mind is of the matters in life. Again, we cannot underestimate children.
How We Can Cultivate Awareness for Our Children
When it comes to loneliness and suicide, it can be easier (though not always) to see the warning signs in teenagers. According to Boston Children’s Hospital, some signs could be: poor coping skills; access to ways of self-harm; lack of caring/energy; isolating; and risky behavior.
While I am not a therapist or doctor, I am someone who practices and teaches compassion through yoga and writing tools. I believe that we can pass the following tools down to children of any age in hopes of raising awareness and saving a life:
- Sit and breathe without worrying over what we may look like while breathing. This helps a child become aware of their body and less aware of body-image.
- Keep a “Joy Journal” and write about what makes you happy/grateful each day.
- Write out sad feelings on a piece of paper then throw them away. This action shows us to let go of what doesn’t make us strong.
- Dance/sing without the use of a mirror. This makes our mind happier and relaxes the body. Without a mirror, we’re reminded to just have fun!
If you, or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 or text TALK to 741741.
Resources Used:
- David K, June 11, 2021. “Youth Suicide Attempts Soared During Pandemic, CDC Report Says.” NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/youth-suicide-attempts-soared-during-pandemic-cdc-report-says-n1270463
- Caron, Christina. June 28, 2021. “8-Year-Olds in Despair: The Mental Health Crisis is Getting Younger.” New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/28/well/mind/mental-health-kids-suicide.html
- Chuck, Kingkade, Elizabeth & Tyler. April 8, 2021. “Suicidal Thoughts Are Increasing in Young Kids, Experts say. It Began Before the Pandemic.” NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/suicidal-thoughts-are-increasing-young-kids-experts-say-it-began-n1263347
- Boston Children’s Hospital. “Suicide and Teens.” https://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-treatments/conditions/s/suicide-and-teens
Community Series – Mental Health Book Club: What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey
