Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
It’s hard enough to be working moms under normal circumstances, let alone with a pandemic happening. With schools closed all around the country, there is a childcare crisis going on at home. Many moms are feeling their mental health dwindle and hang by a thread. The demands of parenting have increased. Many of us have no support network to aid with taking care of our children. Not only must work be done, but children must be taken care of–along with all of the other responsibilities that arise from being home, working, and raising children–all while being at home as much as possible.
Childcare Support
Working at home can be called a privilege. There are so many people who do not have the option and must leave the home to go to a place of work. They also have difficult choices to make and arrangements to decide upon during this time. But, let’s remember that a few months ago, most families had a network of people and/or family to support them. The options were childcare centers or in-home care providers, mostly for younger kids. There were grandparents and relatives volunteering to help with children. After-school programs were available for working parents of school-age children. And then, nothing. All of those supports are what allow parents to go to work.
Whether this means going to an office or it means mentally stepping into a working frame-of-mind at home, both need you to focus on your job. If your child is sitting in your lap, which again can be called a privilege, how many moms can easily get to work? There is also the fear and anxiety that if you don’t do your job well enough now, that you will be among the many people who have lost their jobs, have been furloughed, or have had hours drastically cut back.
Kids and Moms
Many kids have a magnetic attraction to mom. Whether dad is home or not, or dad doesn’t live there, or there is another mom, or any other parents or relatives are in the house; mom typically gets a lot of love, or at least a lot of attention, or cries for help. Mom gets the requests, the questions, the complaints, the love, the demands, the everything. Mom is the center of the universe in many homes. What if Mom has to work at home? Kids don’t understand that. Even if you worked from home before the COVID-19 crisis, your kids were in school or a daycare most likely. They didn’t see you working from home and don’t have experience in keeping themselves occupied so you could have some quiet time to focus.
Care-taking Fatigue
Moms are the caretaker in many homes. They may have parents who need help with grocery shopping now. They may have a level of responsibility at work that means they supervise other employees. The load is getting heavier, and there is no escape from the childcare duties either. How much can a woman juggle at once and still take care of herself in order to keep going?
We now know that many schools will be online-only, distance learning through to the end of 2020. How can working moms maintain their mental health? Single moms have it all on their shoulders right now. How can they possibly do it all? Moms are burnt out and have the rest of 2020 to continue at this level. They need the basics to get through, at a minimum: a good night’s sleep and staying as healthy as possible, by staying hydrated and eating nutritious foods. Even with dads at home with them, moms do a great deal for the family.
So, moms, please know that you are not alone, and please try to take care of yourselves in the simplest ways possible and stay healthy. We are holding it together as best as we can, but watch out for your mental well-being. Most women don’t have time for anything beyond the basics right now so do self-care with the maximum return on investment that is not time-consuming and difficult to plan.
Sanity for Working Moms
Stay in touch with friends and family and women who are supportive of working moms. Get as much rest as possible. Stay hydrated and take vitamins or eat foods that keep you feeling good. Or, just do the absolute bare minimum and be OK with that. Please don’t pass judgment on yourself right now. Everyone seems to need your help, but you have to help yourself to get through this. You can’t meet everyone else’s needs. You need to meet your own needs first. And it’s hard, and this is a difficult situation we are in, so do small things. Small things add up, and they might be the best you can do right now. And that’s OK.
Even easier than self-care are some really basic breaks that are good for the soul to carry on:
- Take a drive or a walk and blast some uplifting music
- Call or video-call your friend and laugh and support one another
- Have an online meet-up with a group of mom-friends one night
- Put earbuds in and listen to a funny/uplifting/relaxing podcast
- Sit outside in your driveway or sidewalk or front stoop and chat with neighbors
- Text a friend who might feel even worse than you to cheer them up and support them
- Volunteer to help those in great need with food or medical supplies
- Check your local community message boards for anyone that needs some help you can provide
- Stay up late sometimes and watch your favorite show and enjoy it
- Please know that you are not alone and that a lot of women are holding our families together at this time.
Acknowledge what you accomplish every day, big and small. If you have access to it, schedule online therapy, or find a support group where you can share your thoughts and feelings.
