Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash
Behind In Everything
I do not need to be fixed even though I am behind my peers. Everyone seems to be enjoying their first few years of adulthood, but I am stuck longing to be the kid I never had the chance to be. Trauma has that effect on people.
The Adult Kid
I never had the chance to be a kid. I was forced to grow up quickly as a result of my father being an abusive alcoholic and my mother being both abusive and unstable. If you lived my life, you would not be normal either. You would also understand why I am the way I am.
The Kid In The Adult Body
I am basically a kid in an adult body. Every day I feel like I am living a lie that no one else understands. I want to scream out to the world and say that I am a kid but experience pressure to be someone I am not because of legal and societal expectations. As a result, I struggle to find my place in this world. It is a pain that words simply cannot describe. I wish others could understand.
I Can’t Just Get Over It
Most will say that I need to grow up and accept that I will never get my childhood back. My only response would be that I wish I knew how to. Years of therapy, hospitalizations and endless medications only go so far for someone who has lived a life filled with trauma and pain. It is not something you can just get over. I need people to be patient with me.
You Don’t Need To Be Fixed
The stigma surrounding mental health is real. When we are struggling mentally, we are expected to just get over it. We are taught that something is wrong with us and that we need to be fixed, but in all reality, our situations need to be fixed, not us. There is nothing wrong with us. Toxic situations damage our minds. We are beautiful creatures who so often experience hardship and pain that we do not ask for. We are worthy of love and protection, yet the mental health system so often focuses on fixing us rather than our situation. This is the problem, not us.
Situations Need To Be Fixed
To change the world, we need to focus on fixing situations, not people. Year after year, so many people endure abuse. Children cannot defend themselves alone, they need us. Validation is out of sight for so many kids until we start doing something about it. I was a kid who suffered through years of abuse because no one believed my story. My voice cried out, yet no one heard me. As a result, I struggle to have a spoken voice today. Please save other kids from this. Choose to care. Validate and see those who ask for help, because their pain is real. No one deserves to be alone when battling the vicious cycle of abuse. Hear their cries. Save the children before it is too late.
